www.chooserespect.org
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
How to Break Up Safely
If you don’t feel safe, don’t break up in person. It may seem cruel to break up over the phone or by email, but it can provide you the distance needed to stay safe.
If you decide to break up in person, consider doing it in a public place. Have friends or your parents wait for you nearby. Take a cell phone with you if possible.
Let your friends and parents know you are ending your relationship, especially if you think your ex will come to your house or try to get you alone.
If your ex tries to come to your house when you’re alone, don’t go to the door.
Ask for help. A Peer Advocate at the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline can help you make a plan or locate local resources if you need. (1-866-331-9474)
Consider changing your route to and from school, work, extracurricular activities, and home. Try to change your locker or school schedule.
Keep a calling card and/or extra money in an “emergency wallet” that you have with you always. Include a list of emergency phone numbers.
With your support network, especially your friends, have a code word that you use if abuser is present and you need help, so your friends can call the police and/or other people to help you.
If you decide to break up in person, consider doing it in a public place. Have friends or your parents wait for you nearby. Take a cell phone with you if possible.
Let your friends and parents know you are ending your relationship, especially if you think your ex will come to your house or try to get you alone.
If your ex tries to come to your house when you’re alone, don’t go to the door.
Ask for help. A Peer Advocate at the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline can help you make a plan or locate local resources if you need. (1-866-331-9474)
Consider changing your route to and from school, work, extracurricular activities, and home. Try to change your locker or school schedule.
Keep a calling card and/or extra money in an “emergency wallet” that you have with you always. Include a list of emergency phone numbers.
With your support network, especially your friends, have a code word that you use if abuser is present and you need help, so your friends can call the police and/or other people to help you.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Helping a Friend in an Abusive Relationship
Tell your friend that you are concerned for their safety. Let them know that you care and will listen whenever they want to talk.
Never blame or judge your friend for what is happening. Don’t make them feel stupid or ashamed. Your friend doesn’t deserve this and it is NOT their fault.
Be supportive and patient. It may be hard for the person to talk about what is going on, or they may break up and go back to the relationship many times before they finally leave. Don’t criticize your friend for doing this, even if you don’t agree with the choices he or she makes.
Encourage the person to talk to others. Offer to help the person talk to family, friends, a teacher, or a counselor. Offer to get them more information. Use the National Teen Dating Abuse hotline: 1-866-331-9474
Don’t force your friend to make a decision. They have to decide when they are ready to get help or break up. Help them to make s decision for themselves, and know that you can’t do it for them.
Focus on her/his strengths. Your friend has probably continually been told by the abusive person that they are a bad person, a bad student, or a bad friend. Your friend may believe they can’t do anything right. Tell your friend why they are great- build up their confidence!
Never blame or judge your friend for what is happening. Don’t make them feel stupid or ashamed. Your friend doesn’t deserve this and it is NOT their fault.
Be supportive and patient. It may be hard for the person to talk about what is going on, or they may break up and go back to the relationship many times before they finally leave. Don’t criticize your friend for doing this, even if you don’t agree with the choices he or she makes.
Encourage the person to talk to others. Offer to help the person talk to family, friends, a teacher, or a counselor. Offer to get them more information. Use the National Teen Dating Abuse hotline: 1-866-331-9474
Don’t force your friend to make a decision. They have to decide when they are ready to get help or break up. Help them to make s decision for themselves, and know that you can’t do it for them.
Focus on her/his strengths. Your friend has probably continually been told by the abusive person that they are a bad person, a bad student, or a bad friend. Your friend may believe they can’t do anything right. Tell your friend why they are great- build up their confidence!
Dating Bill of Rights
I Have the Right:
To be treated with respect always
To be in a healthy relationship
To not be abused-physically, sexually, or emotionally
To keep my body, feelings, beliefs, and property to myself
To have friends and activities apart from my boy/girlfriend
To say no
To feel safe in the relationship
To be treated as an equal
To feel comfortable being myself
To leave a relationship
To be treated with respect always
To be in a healthy relationship
To not be abused-physically, sexually, or emotionally
To keep my body, feelings, beliefs, and property to myself
To have friends and activities apart from my boy/girlfriend
To say no
To feel safe in the relationship
To be treated as an equal
To feel comfortable being myself
To leave a relationship
