We all get angry and hurt from time to time, but feeling angry and inflicting our full force of fury on our bf/gf are two very different things. Exploding out of anger can damage a relationship and is totally unhealthy. Here are some tips for arguing fair, you'll be surprised how effective it is when you lower your voice and communicate!
1. Absolutely no physical violence! It is never ok to hit. When you are angry, the likelihood of hurting someone more than triples, even if you don't intent to hurt them. You don't know your own strength when adrenaline is pumping through your body. Ever heard of the women who picked up a truck with her bare hands when her baby was in trouble? Exactly, keep your hands to yourself!
2. Never name call or belittle. It won't get you anywhere, it will hurt the relationship and both people involved. Remember, words can be weapons too!
3. Don't dig up the past. Avoid the "you always" and the "remember when you's." Stay focused on the topic you are arguing about now. It isn't healthy to bring up past arguments and issues, then you'll never get anything solved!
4. Establish your "bottom line," and make sure that the other person knows it. If crossed, you may need to end the relationship.
5. There should always be one person talking at a time! It's simple really, you won't be able to hear each other otherwise. It's not a duet, it's an argument.
6. Either person may take a "chill pill" at anytime. If the argument gets too intense or someone feels cornered, they are allowed a break to re-coop their thoughts.
7. Never fight "dirty." You know how to push each others buttons, don't cheat and go for the vulnerable spots you know your bf/gf has. It's too easy, and it's just plain mean and unproductive.
8. Agree to have a third person step in if it gets out of hand. If you ever feel unsafe, contact an adult you trust.
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