Are you a jealousy monster??

Scene: Your bf is talking to Jessica in 2nd hour and then walks out of class with her laughing because she dropped her planner for the second time that day. You see them together and you get an uneasy feeling in your stomach. That feeling is jealousy, and it’s perfectly normal. How you react to that feeling determines whether you are a jealousy monster or a cool gf.

If you tease your bf and brush it off because you have nothing to worry about-I mean he’s with you not her right?-then you’re a cool gf.

If you yell at him and start asking questions like “Why were you flirting with her?” or “Why don’t you think I’m pretty?” then you are a jealousy monster!! What can you do to make your relationship healthy?

-Own your feelings! Jealousy has nothing to do with your bf/gf, it has everything to do with how you feel about yourself.

-Tackle your insecurity. Jealousy is a form of insecurity. Tell your bf/gf how you really feel and don’t expect those feelings to go away overnight. For the most part, jealousy shows that you have low self esteem. Know that you are worthwhile!

-Learn from the past and deal with what’s real. Realize that getting upset for no reason won’t help your situation. Look back to how this has damaged your relationships in the past.

-Get help from your bf/gf and your friends. Let them help keep you in check.

-If you can talk yourself into jealousy, you can talk yourself out of it. Don’t let your imagination run wild with thoughts. Calm yourself down by thinking, “Yea that girl was looking at my bf but I have no evidence that he wants to date her instead of me.”

Remember, it’s totally cool to be a little jealous and it may even be a little flattering, but don’t become a jealousy monster and destroy your relationship! That's just straight up unhealthy!

Textual Harrasment

Have you been pressured to send a nude pic to your bf or gf? It can be hard to say no to someone you care about, even if it's something you don't want to do. Keep these things in mind when you are confronted with a nude pic request:

-Once you click the send button, there is no take backs! It's out there in the digital world forever!

-Even if they cross their heart and pinky promise not to show anyone, they might. It's totally out of your control once you send it.

-Nearly 1 in 5 sext recipients have passed along a sext to someone else, even if they have promised to keep it private.

-More than 50% of people who have shared a sext, have shared it with MULTIPLE people. Think about that, your nude pic could end up in the whole schools hands!

-If someone really cared about you, they wouldn't pressure you to do things you are not comfortable with.

If you are having a hard time saying no, try this:

Send them a callout card! It's a funny and totally anonymous way to let someone know that you're not into sending nude pics!

Test your skills on saying no to pic pressure with this cool game.


(Facts from athinline.org)

Constant Texting: That's Not Cool!

22% of teens say their boy/girlfriend checks up on them too often.

Three questions to ask yourself about constant texting and messaging:

1.Why does my bf/gf need to know where I am and what I'm doing every minute of the day?

In a healthy relationship, partners trust each other and give each other room to breathe, enjoy time with friends and family, and chill out. In an emotionally abusive relationship, one partner tries to control the other, often by demeaning them, making them feel worthless, and trying to control their actions and decisions. Take constant messaging for what it is: a big flashing neon sign that says, "I'm trying to control you!" Talk it out, and cut the cord if it doesn't stop.

2.Does sending or receiving a message every 5 minutes all day and night seem normal?

Open communication is an important part of any relationship or friendship. But when the line between staying in touch and keeping tabs gets blurry, it's time for an offline convo with your bf/gf. And if you see it happening with your friends – whether they're doing it or it's happening to them – show them some love by calling them out on it.

3.Do the messages I'm receiving sometimes make me feel bad?

If a friend, partner, or the person you hooked up with last month is using IMs, emails, or texts to say mean things about how you look, what you're wearing, or who you're with on a regular basis, that's a form of emotional abuse. We're not talking about one text, one time, that said your blue dress wasn't his or her favorite... we're talking about a pattern of power-tripping comments meant to make you feel bad.

If constant texing is not your thing, draw your line! Don't assume s/he realizes they're texting your relationship into the ground. Talk it out and be crystal clear about what specifically needs to change (in other words, don't just say, ‘Quit texting me all the time!'). Texting to make plans or if you haven't seen each other all day? Fine. Texting every five minutes to see where you are and who you are with? Not okay.

(Information from athinline.org)

Be an active bystander! Help a friend

Dating violence is not just about the abuser and the person being abused. It is a serious problem that effects everyone involved. There are three roles in dating violence:

Abuser: A person who physically, sexually, verbally, or emotionally hurts or attempts to control an intimate partner

Target: A person who is subjected to controlling behavior or hurt physically, sexually, verbally, or emotionally by a intimate partner.

Bystander: A person who is aware or suspects that someone is being abused in a dating relationship. The bystander may become aware of the abuse through the abuser’s or target’s actions or words.

A bystander does not have to witness the abuse; they simply have to know about the abuse. An active bystander should encourage the target to talk to someone who can provide help and guidance and offer their support. Bystanders can also talk to friends who are behaving abusively and express their disapproval or ask them to stop if they feel safe doing so. Studies show, that teens are more likely to confide in their friends than any other source.BE AN ACTIVE BYSTANDER! You can help make a difference.


(Adapted from loveisnotabuse.com, 2011)

Teen Dating Abuse Hotline

Love is Respect is a great website where you get information about dating abuse, take a relationship makeover quiz, or chat online with a counselor.

Visit it!

Draw Your Line!

Draw Your Line is a place where MTV celebrates all the ways you and your friends are taking action to stop the spread of digital abuse (cyberbullying, sexting, textual harassment, etc.). While you're here, you can also connect to local resources and find other ways to make a difference.

Check it out!

Reviving Ophelia

Lifetime has a great movie about dating violence called "Reviving Ophelia."

Check out the website and catch a showing of it!